Updated: Nov 16, 2018
I wanted to share my story with you-
My story of how I ended up where I am right now.
In the past 3 years,
You’ve seen me go from silent to totally visible.
From hiding to Empowered.
From broke and slaving away for someone else’s mission, to having my own business.
And I want to share with you how I got here.
3 years ago today-
I was miserable working in a restaurant that was extremely out of alignment for me.
People were angry,
I had never worked with so many people who hated their job-
And the ironic part was-
We were “selling” love and gratitude
The company specifically hired servers who exuded an air of Love, Gratitude, Health, Happiness, and new age spirituality,
and put us in t-shirts and blue jeans and made money off of using us as their image.
Because they were selling the image- so hard core-
And it wasn’t in line with the way they treated their employees
It was a confusing place to work-
The image and vocabulary being one thing-
Reality being another.
It was a slave job none the less.
The energy out- was not equal to the $ that we pulled in.
Not by a long shot.
I had about 15 minutes of script delivery-
Before I could even take the customers order.
It was draining.
I am a musician-
The entire time that I worked there-
I didn’t play music.
I didn’t write- or record or perform.
This was the same for most of the people I worked with.
Actors, singers, musicians, writers, teachers,
Everyone’s creativity dried up-
Into bitterness and frustration.
One should not have to work 6 days a week to pay their bills and still be broke.
It was not that I had high bills-
It was not that I made little money there-
It was- that I was wasting my energy-
In a place that sucked it dry.
And somehow or another I was always broke.
My intuition was speaking to me.
Telling me to get out of there.
The injustice around me-
How people were being treated-
How angry everyone was-
People around me talked and talked of getting another job.
But no one did-
I starting receiving injuries-
(And I say receiving because I believe it was happening because of the decision I continued to make out of fear -to stay working there)
Stress repetitive injuries-
From opening the door to the patio over and over and over and over-
From standing in my knee joints- my hips,
throwing out my shoulders-my back.
That’s not what my body was meant for.
But still I stayed.
We all did.
It’s so much easier to complain-
Than to make a change and
listen to intuition,
To leap into the unknown.
I was surrounded by so much anger
I finally decided to quit.
I had no idea of where I was going to get the money-
But I had been broke before-
And knew that being broke and being free-
Was gonna be healthier than feeling trapped and angry.
I knew that what I was supposed to be doing something with my gifts-
And it was NOT serving someone else’s pocket book
Or growing someone else’s business I did not support
And if someone was going to be making money off of my image-
Of the values that I represented-
It should at least be me!
If I focused on using my gifts, my natural talents, plus all that I’d learned all my years here on earth,
it seems that I would be in the natural flow of things.
It doesn’t make sense that I shouldn’t be able to support myself-
by using my gifts from Spirit.
The very next day- after I quit-
I wrote the first song I had written in years.
That was all the confirmation I needed.
I had started doing readings again-
And I thought- ok. This is a start.
Reading cards was tapping into my intuition-
as well as tapping into my coaching and counseling skills.
So I changed my life.
I moved into a new apartment-
I drove down different streets,
And not down any of the old ones.
I broke my habits.
Changed my energy
Changed my diet,
And then ran out of money.
And I gave in and went and got another serving job.
Immediately I started receiving injuries.
Serving had always been fun for me-
I was really good at it-
So it was confusing- for Spirit to be telling me to get out of there.
in the past-
This actually was the way that I was serving my purpose.
It gave me a platform to connect and share with people.
I was even channeling for Spirit quite often while serving the customers.
But things changed.
And I was no longer serving my purpose-
I was slaving away.
And waisting my time and energy.
I ended up injuring myself right out of the job-
And was forced to realize the non stability of this kind of work.
There is no insurance.
You injure yourself-
And you are out of luck my friends!
Now during this whole last job scenario-
I had been studying music marketing-
On the computer all day soaking up info on how to create a business on line.
I came across a women’s circle tele summit-
And thought- that’s so weird-
I’ve never been in a Womens circle...
nor do I know anyone who has-
Seems like I’m someone who would be having a Womens circle!
So I followed the guidance and started listening.
And I investigated.
I came across a woman-
When little to my knowledge a the time-
Had also had lots of priestess and ceremonial training-
who was offering a course on how to create curriculum for your Sacred Business.
I took that course and realized that this was what I have been looking for!
It activated me.
And I realized- I needed to go even deeper.
So I went to her Master Facilitation and Ritual Training in North Carolina.
And I started leading Women's circles right away.
Now that I had been reading tarot quite consistently for months now-
I had started working at a very well known and extremely busy spiritual shop and reading tarot for people that I did not know-
And I realized that this nowadays is a commonly sought out form of therapy, counseling, and guidance seeking for people.
Yes- I already had natural talent in this area.
But I was realizing that I needed to go EVEN DEEPER in my training
I felt like it was really important that I knew what I was doing with people-
And could hold them safely.
So I took Joanna’s Sacred Depths Coach Training
I was committed to educating myself-
And giving myself proper experience to be able to hold a tight container for people looking for guidance-
In taking on this opportunity to read tarot at this Spiritual shop-
I was once again working for someone else’s business and experiencing an energy drain.
They were keeping 80% !
I was bringing in my own clients-
As well as offering moon circles which I was filling on my own
And they were keeping 80% !
And- I was not aloud to work on my own business-
Or teach anywhere else.
Once again-I felt like Slave
And Spirit let me know this was NOT OK either.
I will say this about the guidance from Spirit.
This choice is always ultimately yours.
Spirit offers only a nudge.
Through your intuition,
it can be a small or even large loud voice in your head-
Depending how tuned in you are,
But in the end,
The choice is yours.
When you don’t listen- is always when things go wrong.
So- I listened.
I had decided to listen to my intuition and only my intuition.
And that if I wanted to be supported by Spirit-
I would have to LISTEN to the guidance-
That I had ASKED for!
So I quit!
And only after I quit-
Did I fully dive into my own business.
All my advertising was for my own business.
All of the profits- were for my own business.
In the Sacred Depths coaching program-
I was uncovering things I never knew about myself.
I had a FEAR OF BEING SEEN
This- was CRAZY!
I always thought I didn’t give a f*ck about what anyone else thought.
Well that was a lie!
I was hiding- and keeping myself small and I didn’t even know it.
Because now- to be successful in your own business- you have to be SEEN.
And that meant-I was going to have to put myself out there!
I realized that as good as I was one on one- or in small groups-
I was afraid of being SEEN and JUDGED on a large scale.
All of my behavior started making so much sense to me.
Hiding in the slave jobs-that zapped my energy.
Being okay with being so tired that I didn’t have the energy to work on my Soul’s Purpose.
because that ultimately kept me from being seen
And this was in my music, in teaching, in public speaking, and now, in growing my business.
So then what did I do?!
I decided to confront my Fear!
And I hired a business coach!
I found someone who I Knew could challenge me
Who could stretch me- (Chiara Mazzucco)
I PAID FOR IT-
I paid ALL of my money for it- and then some.
Cause you know what?
This is the only way that I was gonna stretch!!!
Not at a price that I could easily afford-
So I could choose or not if I wanted to do the homework-
Or I could decide along the way that maybe I didn’t like her or her ways-
and make reasons to not do the exercises.
I paid for it-
So that I HAD TO.
And you know what?
It’s the best decision I have made so far-
to choose to FACE my FEAR
I NEEDED each one of these steps to happen.
I NEEDED each one of my teachers.
I NEEDED the education so that I understood what was happening when it was happening-
To me- AND to my clients.
And then I needed to be challenged
and my standard raised-
And I had to put myself out there.
NO matter how embarrassing-
No matter what cost to my image-
To my business
To my music, (yes I was super worried about that)
Cause this was the only way I was going to grow!!!
What I have learned…?
You will NOT grow if you are not challenged
Yes You need to take that course.
Yes You need to be educated.
Yes You need to listen to your intuition.
and Yes-You need to LEAP into the unknown-
Cause thats the only place that you are going to create something new.
You have to Acknowledge your Fear,
You have to Face it
You have to Let GO of your ego,
Stop complaining, internally and externally,
and act on your words already.
Stop talking about it.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
The only way that things are going to change-
IS IF YOU CHANGE THEM.
And everyday that you don’t-
Is one more day that you stay stuck-
And things stay the same.
That Tomorrow will never come if you don’t take action right now.
It’s never going to get easier.
It’s never going to be comfortable.
It’s never going to feel safe.
It’s just not.
Safe is here, right now.
everything staying exactly the same.
And your ego-
Is set on keeping you Safe.
Step forward into unknown.
That is where the future you are seeking lives.
You have to create it.
You have to do the work.
You have to listen to your intuition.
And you have to take the risks.
And since I’ve done it-
Since I'm DOING IT-
I can tell you,
It’s worth it!!!!!!