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  • Writer's pictureJaime Black

Facing Your Shadow at Holiday Time

Shadow and Truth.


It can be a difficult time of year for MOST of us.

I always thought as a young one,

that my family was different than everyone else's.

We didn't have all the problems and disagreements and issues that all the other families do.

But that's part of the family experience.


Before any of the really difficult circumstances that came in time, we still, just like any other family, had our share of struggles- and of course they all come out at holiday time.

(holidays time and family vacations right?!)


And I for one- am a fighter.

In alllll the ways.

I've always had an opinion- a loud one at that.

I've never ever been good at being polite- "stuffing it"

not with my family anyway.

And I've never been good at not saying what needs to come out of my mouth.


So this year, I won't go into the details, cause they don't matter-

we ALL have relative details-but this year was intense.

I was really activated. It was IN my body.

And it didn't matter all that I "knew" in my mind, about how to react, how to process, how to breathe, blah blah etc,

It was IN my body, and I had no choice but to be with it.

I was riding the roller coaster inside just trying to stay on!

And I watched as everyone around me was also experiencing their own version of what I was experiencing.

And I realized-

"oh yeah- right!"



I mean who else would be saddled with such an important job other than the ones we are stuck with dealing with for our whole lives?!

Because in our Shadow- are our deepest wounds, all the parts of ourselves we are trying to hide, forget about, get away from...

and also in our shadows lie our Greatest Gifts.

Of compassion, understanding, our "wounded healer"


And blessed Be- our Families are there to remind us!!

to pull it out- up to the surface-

so that we can DEAL with it!

Face it, transform it, alchemize it!


Isn't it interesting that it's during these times

when we finally speak our truths?


Harsh as they may come out-

it's mostly just because you've been holding on to them.

And family gatherings are the pressure cooker for us to either explode out or explode in-

depending on you and the way you process.



So I just want to share since I know I'm not the only one.

We talk about the “retrograde portal”

or the “eclipse portal”-

Well-WE are in the HOLIDAY PORTAL 🙂


My advice?:

Be good to yourself and allow yourself to speak your truth-

cause it's gonna come out eventually one way or another.


Don't beat yourself up if everyone around isn't delighted to hear it.

Truth speaking isn't about being liked- it's about being honest so that better understanding and deeper communication can take place.


And if things go awry on one of these days,

just ask yourself-

why is this happening for me? ✨

what can I learn here?✨

How can I be better next time?✨


Family is an emotional thing.


It's not simple.

There are so many emotions present that are coming from SO many years and interactions with these people over your whole life!

If the first one was rough, it's okay.

Take stock, do some journaling,

what actions can you take to grow from it?


And how can you be better prepared for the next round?


Sending love


Jaime Black

Photo: Darcie Kermode (Sands of Time Music Video)


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